Understanding The Role of a Submissive

You may have asked yourself whilst reading my previous post.. what exactly is a Dominant and what is a Submissive?

Well, lucky for you, I am here to explain the basic understandings and rules that apply to both of these roles.

However, before I begin, I want you all to know that swinging includes many other roles, not just dominant and submissive. I am choosing to include both of these roles only, as I have always picked the submissive side when meeting others. I personally enjoy to have another man or woman be in charge of the situation, and most of all, my body.

So this leads onto me explaining the role of a Submissive. Please, if your curious, kinky minds are still with me, continue reading..


Before you even begin to dip your sexy little toes into the submissive waters, talk to your partner beforehand. Make sure you are both on the same page or it will not work. You both have to understand what each other wants from one another. This creates TRUST.. which girls and boys.. is an absolute MUST when being submissive. I can’t tell you how important trust is. I mean, you’re not going to let someone take control of your body and not know what they are actually going to do with it, are you? Or actually, when I think about that.. that’s kind of a little bit sexy.. don’t you think?

Anyway, getting back on track here and out of my naughty imagination.. you now understand that trust plays a huge part in being submissive..

So once you and your partner have built that trust and agreed that this is what you both want to explore together, you need to establish a few very important rules. Rule number one; you need to have a safe word. Come up with a distinctive word, such as ‘Red’ or ‘Apple’ or whatever the fuck you want it to be. Just a word that you (or the dominant, if the need ever arises) can use to IMMEDIATELY STOP ALL PLAY AND ACTIVITY. Yes, being kinky is fun and exploring different things is all well and good but there is a thing as too much, believe it or not! This word may be necessary for all different types of situations, such as too much pain, exhaustion, boredom.. it could be for any reason you like. But please for the love of god, agree on a safe word for your protection, and your partners. If you don’t do this, you could end up building resentment,ruining the trust and not enjoying the experiences whatsoever, which will most likely, ultimately, end any sort of relationship you have with your partner.

Okay, okay, I know, this is all becoming a bit too serious. As I said previously, it’s all fun and games, yes, but you need to know what to do if things go wrong. I for one, can confirm, that things don’t ALWAYS go to plan! But that is something I will get into later on in my stories..

So let’s get into the fun part. So after reading everything so far, does your fanny still flutter at the thought of being a submissive? .. If your answer is yes, then let’s begin to outline what this role entails:

1 – Your partner, the ‘Dominant’ is in control. He/She will own the rights to choose positions, place, time, and how. If He/She so wishes to do so, they can even control when you are ‘allowed’ to cum. This is called ‘Orgasm Control’ and is a very, very popular action that the dominant may choose to use, at any time.

2 – You obey. You say yes, yes and fucking yes. And you love it. Agreeing with the dominant shows respect for him, and that you are listening to his every word.

3 – You respect the dominant. Dominants WILL NOT tolerate disrespect. If you have an issue or a problem, you must approach the dominant with manners and respect.

4 – You cannot be jealous. Ever. Your dominant, especially if they are well experienced, may have more than one submissive. You will need to accept this and completely say goodbye to any thoughts of jealousy. Nothing kills a relationship faster!

5 – Being submissive doesn’t always involve sex. I mean, yes, sex is fucking great, but playing the role of a submissive could also be a way of life for you. Your dominant could control the way you look, your diet, activities, socials… anything they like. That is the role of a submissive. They let their dominant take control of them. Entirely.

Now, of course whatever your role entails depends on the rules you and your partner have established before beginning this kinky journey. So what applies to me, or anyone else, might be totally different to what applies to you.

So if you have made it this far, tell me, can you feel your inner Submissive coming out to play? Or do you feel like your a secret Dominant? If being in power and having more control tickles your fancy.. then please read on to find out how being a Dominant could be the perfect role for you..



Let Me Introduce Myself..

I will start off by saying that, the way I choose to live my life, is not how you, or people you know, may choose to live theirs. I accept that this lifestyle isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, however I assume that if you are currently reading this.. it is yours, or maybe you are just curious about it? Either way, I welcome everyone of all ages to come and read my blogs and enjoy the ride with me.

I am a British girl, in my 20’s, slim build and long hair. I have always had a very high sex drive. My friends used to call me a bloke, because I spent most of my days feeling horny and fantasizing about men and women, boobs, cocks.. you name it. if it was sexual I had it on my mind!

So.. you want to know what the life of a swinger is like do you? Well, my friend, it’s a crazy world. I have had my fair share of good times, and my fair share of bad times. Unfortunately, it isn’t like how you may see it in the movies. My Grey does not exist in the real swinging world (sorry, girls!). Swinging isn’t romantic, it’s not love and it definitely isn’t ‘vanilla’.

Swinging is what you make of it, however. You may as well end up falling madly in love with a man, or woman, you simply met up to fuck, or you may not. I for one, have never met anyone with the intention of falling in love with them. That is how I choose to live in my swinging world. Meaningless, emotionless, carefree, hard, hurtful and fucking incredible. Swinging is a whole different world, trust me. You can become somebody you never would be in the ‘real world’. You can be selfish, you can be a bitch, a slut, a dominant, submissive. You choose who you want to be. You choose the character you wish to play. No Mr Greys.. you play in your own god damn movie.

That is the wonders of being a swinger, and that is why I choose to do it. In real life, believe it or not, I have zero amounts of confidence. I am never in charge, rarely social and I tend to be very independent in everything that I do. But this world, this world has enabled me to be my inner devil. To be the complete opposite, to have so much power over both females and males, physically and emotionally.

So, if you have gotten this far.. I hope you are feeling curious to know more about swinging. This is simply an introduction, to outline what this blog intends to do. I will teach you, guide you, give you advice and share my personal experiences and stories with you all. Call me some sort of mentor.. if you like.